The Joy of Missing Out with Tanya Dalton

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • 0:06 An Introduction to Tanya Dalton
  • 2:02 The “No” Sandwich
  • 8:47 You Don’t Have to Earn Rest
  • 9:24 Productivity is Doing What Really Matters
  • 12:30 It’s the Quality, Not the Quantity
  • 16:37 The Most Successful People Say “No.”
  • 19:17 Hustle Shouldn’t Overshadow Happiness
  • 21:13 Life Might Prioritize Things for You
  • 22:54 Tanya’s Favorite Books


In this episode, I spoke with Tanya Dalton, author of The Joy of Missing Out. Named a Top Ten Business Book of the Year by Fortune Magazine, She also runs a podcast called Productivity Paradox that’s in the top 50 business management podcasts on Apple Podcasts.

The “No” Sandwich

Danika said her greatest takeaway was that harmony is greater than balance because it’s attainable; we can look at harmony throughout the week rather than by the hours of the day, and the “No” Sandwich is a crucial idea for anyone looking to maintain this balance AND their relationships.

Simple-Huge movements are made up of small tweaks, but they have a hugely positive effect on our lives. We want a life that works for us and doesn’t require us to hustle all the time.


Productivity is Doing What Really Matters

Abigail said one of her favorite quotes from the book was, “Productivity is not doing more but doing what really matters.” We try to fill out our to-do lists, but this can convince us that we’ve done enough as a way to avoid what we truly need to do. What can you remove from your to-do list?

She also loved the million-dollar moment idea. Abigail’s friend’s husband passed away recently, and this put the importance of presence into perspective. Saying “yes” to something may be a “no” to what is really valuable.


It’s the Quality, Not the Quantity

Tanya brought up the idea that if you took fifty steps in fifty different directions, you’d be pretty far from your goals. You could get where you want to be, but it’s unlikely. It’s better to take FIVE steps in the direct place where you want to be.

We don’t have to fill our days. The less we do, the more we can pour ourselves into those things. Always consider the “Why?” We tend to start with “How much time?” but that’s the wrong mindset. Our default doesn’t need to be “yes.”

The Most Successful People Say “No”

Make sure you’re trying to only say “yes” to things that will make an impact. The vital few are more important than the trivial many. Overwhelm isn’t having too much to do, it’s not knowing where to start.

Finding your North Star and focus on your prioritize can keep you from doing #allthethings very poorly.

The Vital Few are More Important than the Trivial Many

Hustle Shouldn’t Overshadow Happiness

We tend to undervalue happiness. All goals are geared towards this idea, but we forget about it. Life is meant to be enjoyed not just endured. Our time is fleeting. Let’s give our loved ones the best of ourselves instead of our leftovers.

Climbing the corporate ladder is great as long as you can still give the best version of yourself to your family. Tanya reminds us that this is what we deserve. Too many people go to bed at night thinking they didn’t do enough, but that is so much pressure and likely untrue.

Life Might Prioritize Things for You

My daughter decided to move out for Hair School fairly abruptly, so I had to re-prioritize what I had going on at the time to make sure nothing fell through the cracks! Most of us don’t have an extra wad of cash sitting around, but we can find it in an emergency. Time, in how we spend it, works the same way.


Tanya’s Favorite Books and Precious Friday Nights

My mom asked Tanya what her favorite books are and she told us:

How to Really Love Your Child by Dr. Ross Campbell

Essentialism by Greg McKeown (last episode’s interviewee!)

On Fire by John O’Leary

All of these resources and more can serve to help us recognize what Tanya calls “precious Friday nights.” We got a little choked up talking about it!


How Do You Find Your North Star?

While your North Star can be buried amidst all your passions, think of these things in terms of “Good, Better, and Best.”

Tanya wants us to see what actually drives us and fuels us.

What is the Best Way for Women to Promote Confidence?

We need to surround ourselves with people who have similar mindsets to us. We can be friends with other women in our industry because lifting each other up makes women as a whole stronger.

Resources from this episode:

Find out more about Tanya here

Follow Kelli on Instagram

Join the Fear-LESS Girl Book Club Here


Thank you so much for listening to this episode! I’m honored and excited to be on this journey toward personal growth and greater confidence with you. If you enjoyed the podcast, I’d love to ask you to take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star reviews on your podcast app, that way we can help even more women to join us as we #dropkickyourinnermenagirl together.

P.S. If you’re looking for ways to increase your confidence and silence your inner mean-girl, download by free workbook, 6 Ways to Dropkick Your Inner Mean Girl.





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