Description: Bestselling author, Julie Solomon is joining me today to talk more in depth about the topics in her book, Get What You Want.
Julie shares with us about the importance of getting honest with yourself, ditching victim mentality, practicing the three “A’s” ( awareness, acceptance, and action), creating boundaries and many more practical things you can start doing to get rid of your excuses and actually GET WHAT YOU WANT out of life.
I’m not joking, this episode is straight fire. If you don’t already have the book, you’re gonna want to grab it.
Now, let’s get into it!
In her book, Julie says that you can’t get what we want, if you don’t know what you want. And in order to know what you want, you have to get honest with yourself.
The first step to radical honesty is awareness. And that can be hard to do because we don’t want to look at the less than ideal parts of our life, we don’t want to acknowledge our weaknesses. But Julie brings up a good point that the flip side of any weakness is always the chance to build. In fact, without a weakness, there is no room for growth. (mic drop!)
We all have an origin story. It’s the stories, the beliefs, the systems, the way of thinking that we adopt as we get older. It’s how we see the world. In some ways that can serve us well, depending on your origin, your family of origin, your culture of origin, whatever that may be. But then in some ways it can also not serve you at all.
One way your story can be of disservice is if you fall victim to your origin story when you use it to define your current reality. Stories like:
Success has to be hard.
I’m not good at (fill in the blank).
It would be for me to get help.
I have to be perfect to be loved.
Julie says asking yourself, “where am I falling victim to this?” can help you to get out of the victim mode and ditch the excuses and really get what you want.
Asking: what am I choosing to believe? And how is that belief? How is that belief actually keeping me. From getting what I want?
In her book, Julie shares the three “A’s”. They are Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.
The first step that you need is to become aware of the problem or dysfunction that exists, that needs to change.
Then you go to step two, which is acceptance, and this is often the most uncomfortable place for people.
Once we can get into this place of acceptance, then we can go to step three, which is action. And action is simply, now what are you gonna do about it? If you’re aware of the problem, you accept the reality of the situation as it is, now what are you gonna do about it?
The power of the pause is a great tool to use, especially when creating boundaries. The power of the pause allows you time before you jump in to respond or react to a situation, and what that space does is it allows the world and answers to reveal themselves to you.
If you don’t create boundaries, it’s gonna be hard to love yourself. Julie says that boundaries are some of the most selfless loving things that you can do because when you don’t have them, when you are in a people pleasing mode, you’re not showing people who you really are.
You’re just showing them an agreeable version of you, with hopes that they’re gonna like you with. Boundaries allow you to truly reveal who you really are to someone. Which is the most authentic and loving thing that you can do.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode! I’m honored and excited to be on this journey toward personal growth and greater confidence with you. If you enjoyed the podcast, I’d love to ask you to take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review on your podcast app, that way we can help even more women to join us as we #dropkickyourinnermenagirl together.
P.S. If you’re looking for ways to increase your confidence and silence your inner mean-girl, download my free workbook, 6 Ways to Dropkick Your Inner Mean Girl.