Description: In this episode, Kelli is interviewed by her friend and fellow podcaster, Jessie Larson of the Positively You Podcast. Kelli talks about how she drop kicked her inner mean girl and how you can do the same. This episode is full of fire, passion, and will totally help you say adios to the mean voice in your head.
5:05 What Is Your Confidence Level
9:02 When Does Your Inner Mean Girl Appear
12:22 Learning To Be Your Own Best Friend
14:14 Sharing Releases Shame
18:33 Easy Self Care Practice
22:00 Mean Girl Challenge
26:15: What To Do To Keep Your Confidence High
5:05 Kelli has noticed that a lot of women get in their own way, and it’s because of their confidence. She got curious and did a poll on social media and asked women to rate their confidence on a scale of 1-10. The average answer was a 5!
“I was NOT okay with this, we can’t be walking around feeling like a 5 when we are a 10!” She took that information and her own experience with negative self talk and not feeling confident and started working on drop kicking her inner mean girl and shifting the way she talked to herself.
Your inner mean girl usually has a focus or a main message that she defaults to to get you down. Kelli’s mean girl loves to say “you’re a bad mom.” Kelli shares a story of messing up things with her sons sports schedule and said that her inner mean girl, who she has named Lucy, saw an opening to tell that story of, “see you ARE a bad mom.” That’s when you have to shut it down, you say not today. Because if you let it in, it can start to snowball out of control and soon that inner mean girl is running the show.
Confidence and self love is having a loving relationship with yourself. You have to show the love that you would show to others to yourself. Kelli shares that one of the ways she does that is through the way she talks to herself. Whether it’s through affirmations, power statements, or just your internal dialogue, creating a loving conversation with yourself is key. One of Kelli’s favorite things to say is: It’s okay to make mistakes while we are learning.
One great way to drop kick your inner mean girl is by being open and vulnerable with other people. Your inner mean girl wants you to feel alone, she wants you to think you are the only one who messes up like this and to not want anyone else to know how awful you are. But when we share our experiences it releases that shame, and it actually helps to create more support and community with others who can relate and you’ll find out that you are actually not alone. Being open about our struggles and mis-steps and owning them is one of the quickest ways to kick that mean voice out of your head.
Kelli created a practice for herself that is much like a gratitude list or journal. In her phone she made a Google Doc for herself. But instead of writing down affirmations or power statements, Kelli just writes down things that she wants to remember. One example is “I am an intentional mom.” She will read them in the morning or add to them to remind her what’s important and maybe weaknesses that she is working on. Then she’ll add in her gratitude and after only two or three minutes she is set up for the day. This is a practice that you can implement any time, it doesn’t have to be in the morning. It can be in the school pick up line, at the end of the night, while you’re eating lunch instead of scrolling instagram, etc.
Take a day to write down all the negative thing you’re mean girl says to you. You will be shocked at the things you say to yourself. In one day Kelli was surprised to reveal all the negative thoughts that were running through her head. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we have a mean girl just running rampant, (but everyone has one) and doing this is an eye opening exercise to see what’s going on helps you to get a real look at what’s going on and then be able to really combat and shift you’re thinking and self talk and drop kick her to the curb.
Being willing to try new things. A lot of us are scared to try new things because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure. But if we can push past those or even lean into them with an attitude of let’s just see what happens then your confidence begins to grow. Being confident is being brave enough to suck, and here’s the thing you’re going to suck the first time, but you have to start somewhere. I suggest starting small and celebrating your small wins. Those wins become proof and that boost to keep trying new things.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode! I’m honored and excited to be on this journey toward personal growth and greater confidence with you. If you enjoyed the podcast, I’d love to ask you to take 2 minutes to leave me a 5-star review on your podcast app, that way we can help even more women to join us as we #dropkickyourinnermenagirl together.
P.S. If you’re looking for ways to increase your confidence and silence your inner mean-girl, download my free workbook, 6 Ways to Dropkick Your Inner Mean Girl.